Again the scribe begins the chronicles of another incestuous scandal of deceit, mental illness, and physical depravity. Drugs and sex do things to people who have no self-control. Often times unfortunate as it maybe, bonds are broken quickly and easily as they are formed.
When in doubt about the character of someone or the bullshit being served, I tend to repeat back to the person the words they said, in a different context, when they are in a better mental state. As some people claim they can’t remember what they did yesterday, unfortunately for me, I can’t forget ten years ago, never mind five minutes ago.
I put this to the test last night. Every word, every answer, just to gain that clarity that years of knowledge brings, as sometimes you need to hear things again with your own ears to hear what was said in what context, to give you the opportunity to reflect on what transpired and what words were uttered that you may attempt to conveniently forget.
Word games, double entendres, along with hints of the truth sprinkled here and there, the story tells a tale that is as expected. But did you think I would see throught it so easily, or that I would want to hold you accountable?
Fame, some crave it. Some loathe it, and some are willing to lose it all at for shot at the limelight. Others are driven by greed, jealously, envy, or due to feelings of inadequacy so they lash out in an attempt to elevate their sagging self-esteem. Did you feel a sense of devious camaraderie in the conspiracy or the acts committed? It can feel good to hurt someone when you are hurting…Psychology is a funny thing. And misery loves company.
But I refuse to allow myself to be brought down into the depths of the petty and the childish. I am secure in my skills, I know who I am, and I don’t have any negative self-image issues.
Life is what you make of it, and sometimes you need to make adjustments as needed to maintain a healthy quality of life while keeping certain things at bay.
As this round of the game comes to an end, I have to ask:
”Was it worth it?”
”Did your momentary ego boost or potential financial incentive make you feel whole inside?”
As you apologized in a half ass manner, did you realize that in admitting your guilt, it was just the words I wanted to hear? The validation that you are everything that you claim not to be. That you are like the rest.
Shall we play word games with the hope of some nameless outcome. I could write more about the words you said, and the context and delivery. I could drone on about the who, what, where, and ponder the why? But I cannot, as the time it took just to write these words, was more attention than needed to be paid to the childish nonsense. As an attack from someone who is deemed mentally and physically disabled, would be discounted by some.
Others would recommend institutionalization and heavy sedation.
Guru, Marketer, wordsmith, call it what you will. A certain closure comes in just penning out the words while giving your name David Paul Martino III characteristics to describe your antics and starting a new chapter.
Lead, Follow, or get out of the way. A quote to live by, from one of my peers.
I choose to lead, and I don’t look over my shoulder at what I leave behind.
With age the casual detachment that comes with life lessons learned has molded me into a different person who finds it easier to detach. Shrug the atlas. Sometimes ‘epiphany’ must strike, other times, a collective refocusing on the prize and my goals. Reminding myself, it’s not my job to save all the strays, crazies, or lost ones. But life your life knowing that Karma is a powerful ruling force and it always comes around.